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'You're not alone' | Charlotte mom turns grief to nonprofit, after infertility, child loss

While Mother's Day is a time for celebration, for those experiencing loss or infertility, it can be hard to cope.

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — When Shemaine Fox-Pickens and her husband Herbert married, like many couples, they hoped to build their family. However, the process hasn't always been easy for the mother of two.

"Our infertility journey has spanned over the last decade," Fox-Pickens said. "We've dealt with four miscarriages and three ectopic pregnancies."

In 2004, her little boy died at just five months of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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Then, years later on the same day, "my third miscarriage actually took place on the day that I lost my son.... It just felt like the darkest corner of my life. It felt as if I was completely alone, even though I knew that I wasn’t," she said.

According to the World Health Organization, one in every six people have fertility challenges.

Holidays like Mother's Day are often a reminder of what could've been.

“It can be a difficult day because I feel like it's a constant reminder all day long about not being able to achieve pregnancy or having to have lost a child," Fox-Pickens said.

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Psychologists say it's important for loved ones to reach out, listen, and offer support like buying groceries, doing laundry or getting a meal for those who've experienced loss.

And, for those who've experienced infertility, "do the self-care piece," Jennifer Wolff, a certified trauma specialist, said, "like really do something that helps soothe…. Gravitate toward other parents, whether that’s a support group, whether that’s a connection that have the same experience."

Fox-Pickens is now using her story to help other families know they're not alone, creating the Fertile Ground Foundation, a Charlotte nonprofit offering resources to support.

"You are a warrior. You're not alone," Fox-Pickens said, "There is a community that is here to support you, that is here to love on you, to care for you, and to get you the resources that you need…. It's not over until it's over.... So, stay encouraged, stay uplifted…. know that that day is just as much about honoring you as it is about honoring mothers who were successful.”

To learn more about the Fertile Ground Foundation, visit its website.

Contact Kayland Hagwood at khagwood@wcnc.com and follow her on FacebookTwitter and Instagram.

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