CHARLOTTE, N.C. — What would it take for you to knowingly drink poison? Would you be willing to sip on the poison of life knowing the internal damage it would do? Now relate the drinking of poison to un-forgiveness. It has been stated that un-forgiveness is drinking poison waiting for the other person to die. We do damage to ourselves waiting for the other person to feel the effects of the pain we are experiencing.
Forgiving is never an easy process but a necessary one. I found myself having to forgive two people in my life that were hard experiences, and painful to walk through. The first was forgiving my father. It was hard because I expected so much from a man who couldn't give me much. I felt the constant pain of rejection and that rejection became the way I related to life. Forgiving my father was not easy but something that had to take place in my life. I made up my mind one day to forgive him. I started the process by simply understanding that he gave me what he could and those moments I learned to cherish.
The second was even harder because this affected every area of my life. I had to find the strength to forgive my molester. I had to find the internal power to forgive the man who took my innocence away from the ages of 5-9. Though that age range represents the years of sexual abuse the turmoil from the damage done would be something I would experience all my life. I learned that each event has its own gravity of pain and process and can not be lumped into one forgiving experience. So many of us try forgiving everything all at one time. This is the wrong approach. Each event needs to handled individually, and this was my process.
Forgiving my molester was much harder than my father. As you walk through this process you will discover that some events will be easier than others. For me, I had to process the point that my father left me hurting while my molester left me wounded. However, in both events, I found the strength and hope to find healing and forgiveness. It was hard but I did it; I did it because these events had sucked so much out of my life but I found it necessary for them to no longer take my life. The greatest reward for forgiving...YOU get YOU back!