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'Trust your gut': Charlotte mom helping teens with mental health after son's suicide

Whitney D'Allaird's new calling in life is to help Charlotte-area students who are struggling with mental health so they don't feel isolated and troubled.

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Whitney D'Allaird and Ed Williams have one goal: to help Charlotte-area students break the stigma and talk about mental health.

"There is this misunderstanding that if I asked my child, if I asked someone, 'Are you going to hurt yourself? Are you thinking about taking your own life?' that that might put the idea in their head that we may actually cause this to happen," Williams told WCNC Charlotte. "And research shows that just isn't the case. It's actually the opposite."

Williams works side by side with For Students Executive Director Whitney D'Allaird on three main programs: Students For Students, Launch For Students and Next.

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Credit: For Students

Students for Students are small peer-led groups. Launch for Students is a year-long program equipping seniors with the tools they’ll need to launch into the next phase of life.

And Next is a city-wide conference for those graduating seniors.

For D'Allaird, the idea began to grow after the loss of her son.

"In December, five years ago, we lost our oldest son, Tyler to suicide," D'Allaird told Sarah French. "He was the most loving individual. He was, for most of his life, just a typical teenage boy, until he found himself in a mental health crisis and found himself struggling with depression, and didn't have a lot of these tools that now I realized the importance of. Which is part of why I'm doing what I do is to make sure others have those tools."

It all started with a small group meeting in D'Allaird's home and now it’s grown to be much bigger than she could’ve ever imagined.

Thierry Charles, now a freshman at UNC-Chapel Hill, is one of those students who’s benefited from the discussion.

"I think that that adjustment the first couple of weeks is hard for a lot of people," Charles said. "So I'm so just so grateful that I've been instilled, like, the tools to be able to connect with others to be able to understand emotions, and myself and kind of just be that outlet for other people, too."

"In reality, it's just like ... being a person is hard," Williams said. "And yeah, maybe it's harder than ever."

D'Allaird hopes that parents will educate themselves on the struggles of students today. 

"You know your child, and if you think something's off and not right, trust your gut, and push, continue to push to get them the resources and the help that they need," D'Allaird said.

"Somehow in the midst of all of it, as we all have our personalized screens, and we all gather around a screen together, we all have our own experiences," Williams said. "We're just more and more isolated, perhaps than ever before. It is going to take a community to change kind of the way things are headed."

Williams and D'Allaird, with the help of students, schools and the community, hope to do just that. Because while depression or anxiety may feel like it will never end, they hope students will understand it's just a chapter, and shouldn't be the end of your story.

Contact Sarah French at Sarah@wcnc.com and follow her on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram.

Watch more of Sarah's stories that focus on mental health:

Parents tell story of son's depression, suicide in hopes of saving lives

Coach LaMonte shares his own mental health struggles

 

If you or a loved one are facing thoughts of suicide or self-harm, there is help readily available. You can call Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or chat with them online. There are also resources in North Carolina available here and in South Carolina available here.

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