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'It was like the biggest secret in the world' | Women trafficked by the men they love

As COVID-19 continues to cause economic problems for families, a Charlotte advocate fears the loss of jobs will force women into the sex trade.

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Money troubles at home turned two North Carolina women into victims of human trafficking, but they said their traffickers were not stereotypical pimps. Instead, they were the heads of their families: a husband, a boyfriend, the father of their children.

“There’s no sex worker in the world that wants to do what I did," one of the victims said. “Any basic sexual position or thought that you can imagine, that’s basically what I did."

“I did something that I definitely regretted doing," the other woman said. ”I let him do something to me that was a sexual act.”

An advocate fears the current economy, prompted by the COVID-19 pandemic, could put more women in this terrible position.

"Look at all of the factors that lead to a poor home life and that leaves a larger population more susceptible to trafficking," Ursus Institute founder Tammy Harris said. "When needs aren't met, trafficking increases as well."

Harris connected us with the two victims, who are in a better place today. However, both women said they were once in the grips of the men they once loved and it all started with financial problems.

Because of their past, they’ve asked us to protect their identities, but they said the world needs to hear their stories to help other women break free.

“He basically gave me an ultimatum, either we would divorce or I had to do this for him," one of the women said. "I was just so beaten, not physically, but mentally and emotionally. You don’t get much more rock bottom than that. You lose all self-confidence.”

The first victim lives in the Charlotte-area now, but said her ex-husband controlled her for 15 years in Florida before she escaped.

"Basically, it was like the biggest secret in the world," she said.

To the outside world, she said she was a PTA mom who ran a regular business, but at night, behind closed doors, she earned $200 to $400 per man. 

She said her husband set up a website and they made $18,000 in six months before she finally left him, much to his anger.

"He would say, 'We need money. I'm working, you're not,'" she said.

Similar financial concerns forced the other woman, also now in North Carolina, into an escort service on the west coast.

"He said maybe you can make some money and help get us out of this debt we’re in," the victim said. “He was forcing me to make the money fast.”

She said the private dancing didn't only involve dancing, collecting more than $1,000 on her first job alone, which was a financial boost for her boyfriend of five years. She said the man had a gambling problem, lost his job and risked eviction, all with a baby on the way.

"He told me he was going to force me to have sex for money and he knew that I was pregnant," she said.

That's when she said she left.

“Someone who is forcing their partner when they're pregnant with their child is pretty sick," she said.

Harris, whose Charlotte non-profit works to fight human trafficking, said anecdotal evidence shows husbands sell their wives more than you'd think. 

"It’s actually pretty disturbing the amount of women that come forward and talk to me," Harris said. "It’s very shocking how many women out there are being used in this manner and their friends and their neighbors really have no idea."

The first victim said there are red flag behaviors that could suggest a problem. She said women who are never home at night, carry a second phone, wear different kinds of clothes depending on the time of day and are overly emotional collectively are warning signs.

“This is shameful, but it’s not your shame," she said. "It is the person that is selling you.”

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