CHARLOTTE, N.C. — It is three in the afternoon on a Thursday, and CMPD Animal Care and Control kennel assistant Taylor Hodges is serving up food for the dogs housed at the Toomey Avenue facility.
As she unlocks each kennel door and places a bowl of food on the ground, she gives each pup a smile.
“Growing up, I always kind of volunteered at my local shelter, and just kind of always had so much joy being around the animals,” Hodges said.
Some days though, that smile doesn't come as easy, and that’s when she comes to her makeshift office, where photos of shelter dogs she knew are plastered on the door and thumbtacked to a bulletin board—reminders of why she does this work.
“I do get it a lot, like, ‘Oh, what a great job. You just play with dogs and cats all day,’” Hodges said, “And I'm like, ‘No. No. It's not that.’”
Like so many others in animal welfare, Hodges knows just how hard compassion fatigue can hit.
“You see some of the craziest, most sad things,” Hodges said. “And then that it really does inhibit you, if you get too trapped in it to not be able to continue caring for them.”
Usually discussed as a possibility among first responders, mental health and medical professionals, compassion fatigue is described as the physical, emotional, and psychological impact of helping others. It is sometimes called “vicarious” or “secondhand trauma,” and can look like depression and anxiety, with lost productivity, intrusive thoughts, jumpiness, and tiredness.
Hodges knows firsthand it also impacts those working directly with suffering animals and those pouring weeks of love and care into animals, sometimes only to lose them.
“I would say it's pretty easy to get wrapped up in it and want to save them all,” Hodges said.
In a time when kennels are constantly packed, and the odds seem particularly stacked against the animals housed in Charlotte’s facilities, Hodges said it can be tough to maintain focus.
“When I first started, it felt like we did have more breathing room, but not lately,” Hodges said.
To combat the sadness, Hodges takes solace in the victories, like her foster dog Milkshake - who she pulled from a crowded shelter and adopted into a loving home - and the animals she comforted at work, who are now in better places too.
Even photos of the ones she's lost remind her why she keeps going. Hodges points to the photo of one such dog she cared for at the shelter, who never stayed long enough to get a name but connected with Hodges. The dog ended up being euthanized over a behavioral problem, one which sometimes worsens with kennel stress and lengthier stays in a chaotic shelter. Hodges posthumously named the dog “Vidalia.”
“This is actually the only one that I requested to be there when she was being put down,” Hodges said. “That was the closest I’ve ever come to an anxiety attack, actually. I could not catch my breath, but I’d rather be there for her.”
While it might seem like Vidalia’s picture might bring about sad feelings, Hodges said they are more motivating than bitter.
“That way I can still see them,” Hodges said. “They're not forgotten—like someone did love them.”
She also leans on support from others, including fellow animal-lovers helping at the shelter.
“If we didn't have volunteers, every day would be a tough day,” Hodges said.
Self-care and perspective is also important, as keeping herself at her best means being able to give her best to the creatures in need around her.
“I just love working with them and seeing them, you know, come out of their shell,” Hodges said.
Learn how to volunteer, foster and donate to CMPD Animal Care and Control here.
Contact Vanessa Ruffes at vruffes@wcnc.com and follow her on Facebook, X and Instagram.