CHARLOTTE, N.C. — For a lot of folks, this is the most wonderful time of the year. It's filled with holiday displays, joy and music.
“Most of us see the holidays as a fun time where one is really nice and friendly and there are lights out,” Novant Health Psychotherapist Soltana Nosrati said.
But for others, this time of year can be painful.
Many people have either lost someone close to us due to COVID-19 or lost someone a few years ago due to an unrelated reason, and so we're dealing with grief.
Grief that may be felt harder this year than last.
“Last year people weren't gathering in big social. Groups so those. Of us grieving, it made it easier for us to bow out, right? Or just not go,” she said
But this year, many holiday celebrations are back in full swing, but the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports there are now over 790,000 people in the US who've died from COVID-19. Those people will be missed this year
“Now that there's more social engagement, there's that social expectation that you're going to participate,” Nosrati said.
Nosrati said that may not be possible for those who are grieving.
“Be honest with yourself about how you really feel versus how you think people think you should feel,” she said.
Nosrati advises those who are grieving not to feel like they have to be involved in everything, but not to completely isolate.
"I think a lot of the patients I treat that have lost someone feels the need to isolate because they don't want to bum anybody else out or because they feel like they have nothing positive and happy to contribute, she said. "If you're just isolating, you have no corrective experience, and I think that could lead to further depression."
Nosrati said anyone struggling with grief should pick and choose what holiday events to attend, leave if overwhelmed, and find ways to honor their lost loved one.
If you or a loved one are facing thoughts of suicide or self-harm, there is help readily available. You can call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or chat with them online. There are also resources in North Carolina available here and in South Carolina available here.
Contact Lana Harris at lharris@wcnc.com and follow her on Facebook, Twitter and on Instagram.