CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The family of a bright and vibrant UNCC student who was killed in a tragic party bus accident back in May of 2018 said the pain of losing their daughter, Polly Rogers, might not ever go away.
Polly's life was cut short on May 1, 2018 at 10:25 p.m. on Tryon Street.
Witnesses said Polly was dancing on a party bus that was headed to uptown when somehow, she lost her footing and fell out of the bus' exit window.
A FAMILY'S HEARTBREAK
Polly’s father, Tim Rogers, said through grief counseling he’s learned how to live through the pain of losing his daughter.
“One of the things that works, for me at least, is pain is inevitable but suffering is optional or the choice,” Rogers said.
Rogers said the pain from losing his beloved daughter comes in waves. He is never sure when that heartbreak will once again resurface.
“When the pain comes, it comes, and it comes without much warning and it can last long and it can last a short bit of time,” Rogers said
The bright and intelligent 20-year-old was never one to keep many secrets. Her father said his daughter was not necessarily an 'open book' but was always willing to share what matters most.
Polly was also very passionate. Her father said she wanted to share her love to those with special needs.
“She really wanted to become a special ED teacher and she had such a heart for those with special needs she had a huge heart,” Rogers said
Even though Polly only had 20 years on this earth before she passed away, Rogers said his daughter had already made him proud.
“She became everything I would want my daughter to become,” Rogers said
Going back to the night of Polly’s death, her father said he's forced to relive one of the worst days of his life.
“I will never forget that phone call or where I was around quarter to 11 on the night of May 1,” Rogers said
It's a phone call that changed the course of his family's life.
Polly was Zeta Tau Alpha sorority member at UNC Charlotte. Her sorority sister, Maddie Shirley, was sitting next to Polly on the party bus the night of the accident.
“It was an adjustment, not trying to fill the gap but remembering her with all the memories that you have made with her,” Shirley said
Shirley said Polly was the first friend she met when she was in Zeta Tau Alpha. The two met during recruitment.
“Quickly within two months she’s the kind of girl who was like we're in this new thing, we're going to try life together, we need to go to every single event that we can,” Shirley said
Shirley said Polly was pretty much the main reason she had gotten involved in the chapter. Polly was just so full of life and eager to go 'all in' when it came to Zeta Tau Alpha functions.
“We just ended up doing life together in the two years that I knew her,” Shirley said
Towards the end of their two-year friendship, Maddie said she and Polly had been the closest she had ever been to any individual.
“We woke up and texted each other good morning and went to bed and texted each other goodnight and it was kind of an expectation now that that’s what true friendship is and that’s what I need to remember her by,” Shirley said
Shirley said her best friend Polly was the most selfless person she had ever met. Day or night, it didn't matter what Polly was doing at that moment, she was quick to drop everything and help a friend in need.
“Whether it was picking out an outfit or preparing for a job interview or studying for a test she would put everything down and say ok what can I do to help,” Shirley said.
In the past few months, Polly's friends and sorority sisters have been trying to figure out how to best honor the vibrant and loving friend they knew.
“I think it all comes down to what she cared about and that was caring and being kind to others," Shirley said. "Whether that’s stepping out of your way to help a sister in need or a friend in need or going out to a community and doing volunteer – it’s really just living the way Polly would want you to."
Polly’s other friend and roommate Kayla Weisker said the sorority Polly loved so much has really come together the years following her friend’s death. Within the sorority, the members have done multiple service day activities to better their community for Polly and for those living in the area.
“She just, whenever you needed her to do something, she would do it no matter what she was doing no matter how busy she was," Weisker said. "If you needed her she would just drop it and participated with everything."
The days following Polly’s death, her two sisters said the mood in the sorority house changed drastically.
“She was such a light, she would light up a room with her smile I don’t think she would ever have a conversation and leave without having the other person laughing –she just had a witty personality – so I think it was just an adjustment not trying to fill the gap but remembering her with all the memories that you had made with her. She was just an integral member of our chapter,” Shirley said.
Polly’s dad said he is still trying to process the moment he received that heartbreaking phone call.
“I am beginning to process it and that’s going to take every bit of some time and I don’t know when I'll finish processing it I don’t know that I will do that because that impart means that I’ve done processing Polly’s life,” Rogers said.
Polly’s dad said he hopes something like this never happens again.
“No one should have to go through this no one should lose a child or loved one in a vehicle that may not have been on the road,” Rogers said.
Polly’s father told NBC Charlotte that in the months following his daughter's death it was hard for him to walk on the campus of UNCC.
“It was hard to walk through the door of my office in Wilmington the first time. And it was hard to walk back into the college of education building the first time and hard to do those things because I had spent a good amount of my time here and I knew what it meant for Polly,” Rogers said.
Polly’s dad said while it was hard for him to walk back onto the campus he knew it was a necessary part of the grieving process.
“This is certainly a different town than when I left it and I love living in Wilmington and the people there so it's difficult but there are too many great relationships there that are important to me,” Rogers said.
Even though his daughter has passed on, Polly’s father said he will still be a dad to her – only now in a different way.
“The privilege of being my kid's father, it doesn’t stop with her death it just happens differently,” Rogers said.
Polly’s dad when folks say there are no words he said that’s exactly right.
"8 things to say there are no words I am so sorry – that’s it—no one should try to conjure up a language to try to get to the pain that wouldn’t be something anyone should do. I’m just doing the best I can to process it and suffer it as well as possible,” Rogers said.
SENSORY GARDEN TO REMEMBER POLLY
Polly’s loved ones are now hoping to create a sensory garden at UNC Charlotte Botanical Gardens in her honor.
[We chose a sensory garden] in the spirit of Polly and the enterprise,” Rogers said.
Some of Polly’s father’s colleagues from UNC Wilmington donated money to Polly’s family to show their affection. Little did they know that money would become the seed money to build Polly’ sensory garden.
The money was donated to the special needs department of UNC Wilmington and immediately the idea of a sensory garden was born.
“That’s what this has to be to celebrate Polly’s life if we’re going to do that,” Rogers said.
Polly’s dad said the way everything is coming together makes it feel providential that this is the way it needs to be.
“We could not be more enthusiastic about it,” Rogers said.
Kayla Weisker said the garden is just right up her alley with service and being kind to others. She said Zeta is going to help with the fundraising of it and the sisters will make sure there is something that reflects Polly in the garden.
The Polly Rogers sensory garden will be a part of a bigger project to get the public participating more in the life of the botanical garden.
Polly’s family hopes the sensory garden for Polly will be completed in about a year and a half.
Polly's family and friends want to stress the importance of yearly donations to Polly's garden. Polly's memorial site will need year-round care and her loved one's are hoping people will consider making small yearly donations to ensure her legacy lives on for years and years to come.
Those who wish to donate can choose 1 of 5 donation options:
Brightly colored annuals that appeal to our sense of sight, like purple periwinkle or yellow marigolds
Soft, fuzzy lambs ear, hard and pointy strawflowers, or edible nasturtium
Beautiful purple Cone flowers that attract butterflies and bees
Rocks and stones and pebbles galore
Gifts at this level help us install and maintain garden elements that appeal to all our senses
WHAT HAPPENED AFTER?
A few days after Polly’s death North Carolina Highway Patrol officials found over a dozen violations during an inspection of the party bus involved in the accident that killed the spunky and loving teen
Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police said the owner of the vehicle, Victor Rabb, surrendered the bus to state troopers for a thorough inspection. Rabb was then cited for not having insurance on the bus, as well as carrying fake license plates. The bus was registered to Rabb's company, Charlotte Party Charters.
"The tagging, the DOT numbers, all of the federal regulations that must be followed to operate that bus were found in violation," said Trooper Ray Pierce.
According to the Highway Patrol, two emergency exits on the bus were not marked, an onboard fire extinguisher was discharged, and the vehicle was operated without proof of a periodic inspection.
It’s important to note that there is not a violation that says the window Polly Rogers fell out of during the deadly accident was malfunctioning. Investigators said the UNCC sophomore fell out of an emergency exit window on North Tryon Street before she was hit by two cars. She was pronounced dead at the scene by paramedics.
"The window seemed to be operating accordingly and functioning properly," said Trooper Pierce. "So as large as the window was would it be impossible to fall out that window? No, it’s possible. You’ve got a lot of people on board the bus, a lot of people moving around the bus."