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YouDay: How to let go and learn from your past

Many of us live with regret, creating alternate realities instead of accepting and learning from our past mistakes. This desire can be damaging to our psyche.

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — For so many of us, we wake up every day with deep regret. 

We regret decisions we made, decisions we didn't make, even decisions that are made for us. Whatever the case, we hold these regrets, possessing a deep desire to return to a place where we believe we could fix everything: the past. We mentally dwell, creating images of returning to a place that is impossible to get to.

In the story of Lot and his wife in the book of Genesis, we see them fleeing to the mountains to escape the city they called home as it was burning. With specific instructions not to turn around, but to stay focused on the mountains ahead, Lot's wife turned to see what was happening behind her, and by doing so, became a pillar of salt. 

The significant thing about this story is if she only focused on what was ahead of her, she would've discovered that where they were going was greater than what was behind. We must understand that the past has nothing to offer us but the lessons and memories we experienced. And even more important is the reality that we simply can't go back in time.

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We play this mental game by recreating scenarios of what we would do different if we were able to go back. We simply rewrite our story, becoming the hero or villain, by ultimately changing the outcome of events which already happened. By doing this, we believe we can regain strength we didn't have before. This is the trick of the mind that keeps many of us lost in a state I call "reality denial." Reality denial is not accepting the true reality which we live in, creating an alternate reality, one that enables us to redo our past experiences. 

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This is not possible, because if you were able to go back, you would not recreate a new experience, because those of us connected to that past experience are not altering their past experience. The best remedy is acceptance. 

We must accept what the past is and live from this moment forward, acknowledging that we are who we are because of the power of our past. Whatever the condition of your past life, you would not be who you are today if your past events never occurred. Find a reason to embrace your past and allow your past to be the greatest teacher that ever existed.

You can follow Coach LaMonte on all social media platforms: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube and LinkedIn.

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